Raising children can be stressful. Parenting is hard because it’s is not a one-size-fits-all job. You have to be continually learning, growing, and adapting as your kids grow and change. It can be difficult to juggle the responsibility of parenting with everything else you’re already doing – like work, sleep, socializing, cleaning the house, cooking meals, managing kids sport and more.
You also have to try to balance being a parent with being yourself. This means learning to be present and all in when it’s time for the kiddos but also finding a way to be present and all in for yourself so that you are actualising as a person. Getting this balance right is the greatest privilege and the hardest job!
“It takes a village to raise a child ,” goes the saying. There is a lot of truth to this old adage. As parents, you know your child best and are most qualified to guide them through the formative years, but that doesn’t mean you can or should single handedly manage all aspects of their growth and development. Its a big job and it comes with a fair amount of stress. And its okay to own this without guilt or shame. Parenting is hard. If there is support going, we need to allow ourselves to grab it with both hands.
Parenting support comes in all shapes and sizes – from a friend dropping in a meal when you have been unwell, to the occasional babysitter who mans the fort so you can go out with friends. It boils down to this – we all need support and help when we need it. Again, no guilt, no shame. That’s just life. It makes us better parents and better people if we allow that support to come in, rather than soldiering on stoically to prove something to ourselves or someone else.
Balancing self care and great parenting is an art and it only works with good support and great tools. Personally, I am on a mission to help parents find the joy in being in balance, of holding down the dual roles of “great parent” and “happy growing human”.
Where things can go wrong in this balance is that when we are overwhelmed, or guilty for not doing enough or fearful of what comes next, it can make parenthood feel like pressure and stress instead of fun. Im passionate to help people learn that when we embrace ourselves just as much as our children do – that guilt turns into freedom, the fear becomes hope and the overwhelm turns from pain into pleasure!
You need to find ways to rise above the self limiting beliefs and the stuckness of the daily grind. Do anything you can to find these pathways to freedom. Authors like Maggie Dent, Ross Green and Daniel Siegel have written life changing books on parenting, authors like Brene Brown and Kristen Neff have written amazing pieces on the joy of self care and being you. Read resources like this and aim for balance. That includes self care for mum dad and carer too !
Warmly, Marguerite
